carrisauce (pleaseuu) wrote in chanteol,

home is where the heart is

title: home is where the heart is
rating: pg
pairing: byun baekhyun & luhan
length: ~1300w
disclaimer: i do not own anything but the plot.
summary: and he’ll try and try until strong winds fill the white mast and sets sail the ship he’s on into baekhyun’s heart once again.
a/n: inspired by this edit. thank you brenda for looking through this. i feel like i didn't do the edit justice, but well, here it is!

the first place he brings baekhyun to is the small playground in the park near their place.

"and here," luhan points to the rustic swing set, hands gently tugging baekhyun on the wrist, "is where we used to play together."

his words unlock the dam in his head, and memories flow effortlessly to flash across his eyes. at age ten, a petite and scrawny him stands around the playground, eyes wandering curiously at the foreign land. he’s tapped politely on the shoulder by a smaller boy who introduces himself as baekhyun. “let’s play together!” is what luhan manages to hear and understand before the boy sits him down at the swing excitedly.

this is where they first met. this is where they spent hours at, cheerful laughing echoing into the air, humid and hot weather forgotten at the back of their minds. and even as sundown comes and they’re both led away by their mothers in the opposite direction, they turn their heads to each other with knowing eyes twinkling, and a lingering promise to meet up again.

but baekhyun says nothing, and instead runs his hand down the rusty chains.

“i don’t remember this.”

his own fingers dig into his palms. it’s sure to leave tiny angry crescents behind as painful reminders. luhan forces a smile upon himself. “it’s okay, i didn’t expect you to remember anyway.”

baekhyun plops himself down on the wooden seat, legs swinging in mid-air almost nonchalantly. he hums a little tune that luhan recognises as the one that helps baekhyun to calm down.

"you’re angry." baekhyun is still as curt and straight to the point as ever. it hurts, luhan realises, to be faced with someone he knows so well, who acts exactly the same, but isn’t the same person he has known for more than half his life.

"no, i’m not." tears well up in his eyes, and he watches on blurrily as baekhyun frowns and then widens his eyes in alarm at the tears rolling off his cheeks. "i’m just. sad?"

baekhyun doesn’t say a word and he walks up to luhan, smooth fingers gliding across his face to wipe the tears away. “stop crying, it isn’t a good look on you.”

baekhyun has said that to him once before. when he failed to get into the university of his choice. stop crying, it isn’t a good look on you, he had said firmly, pushing a bottle of beer into his hands. they had spent the whole night watching movies, luhan eventually falling asleep on baekhyun’s shoulders.

the familiarity hurts more than it should. it punches him painfully in the guts, and it feels as though it’s teasing him — baekhyun’s not baekhyun anymore, but he still is. you’ve got half a deal, so deal with it.

luhan feels his heart clench up and it fucking hurts.

warmth envelopes his hands and luhan raises his tear-stained face to meet baekhyun’s concerned eyes, brown orbs swirling in abyss.

"i’m really sorry i don’t remember anything. i can barely remember my own name." baekhyun pauses and purses his lips, hesitant. "the doctors called you in first the moment i woke up. this probably means something? you’re luhan right? what were we?"

we were lovers, luhan wants to say, we were lovers who fell in love at first sight, who never left each other’s side. we fell in love, and the rest was history.

instead, he says, “we were best friends. we met here more than a decade ago.”

"i see."

they walk along the tarred path in silence after that. luhan doesn’t exactly pay attention to where they’re going until they stop in front of a huge oak tree. baekhyun tugs luhan by his sleeves and points to the carvings on the thick bark of the tree:

luhan & baekhyun, 06/05/08

"luhan, what’s that?"

"it’s your birth date. we celebrated your birthday here." he hopes that the younger male doesn’t sense the waver in his voice, desperate to crack himself on the inside and out.

but nothing is hidden from baekhyun. at least, nothing can be, from the baekhyun he knows.

"so what else did we do here?"

this is where we first held hands and kissed is left lingering at the tip of his tongue. luhan swallows the words back painfully. “we… played with fireworks.”

"ah, i do kind of like fireworks."

luhan doesn’t know if they’re relieving baekhyun’s memories or his own. the doctor had told him that bringing baekhyun around to familiar places would be of help, but all this nostalgia is only heightened with added insecurity with baekhyun being oblivious to everything that has happened in his life.

luhan feels alone.

"hey, don’t cry, please don’t cry," baekhyun pleads, unsure of what to do when salty tears roll down the older male’s cheeks again. he runs fingers down luhan’s arms, fleeting touches dancing on his skin like it’s icy yet hot.

but luhan’s lower lips tremble and gives way to even louder sniffles. the old baekhyun, his baekhyun, offered such comfort in his times of need as well. he doesn’t understand how this baekhyun, who has most of his existing memories wiped out, can be so similar to the one he’s familiarized himself with, each contour on his face and every dip his body has already memorized and mapped out.

there’s a hand at the back of his hair and luhan feels his head sink into baekhyun’s shoulder, heavy from exhaustion. baekhyun runs his hand up and down luhan’s back almost warily, but still reassuring. his other hand pulls luhan in by the waist. this blanket of ease is pleasant, and lulls luhan into a state of peacefulness. soon, he is still, the only evidence of it all is baekhyun’s wet shoulder.

"luhan." baekhyun combs his fingers through his hair, as if unsure of what to say. "i’m sorry, i really am. i don’t remember anything. i don’t remember where i came from, how many members there are in my family, my hobbies, my entire life — most of all, i don’t remember you. but maybe, we could start again? if we clicked before, it shouldn’t be too hard to click again."

baekhyun offers a smile and luhan recognises it as hope. hope for his memory to come back, hope for his life to come back to normal, hope for luhan to come back again.

baekhyun doesn’t remember, but he does.

"i guess we could work this out," he says, glancing at baekhyun, who’s now all toothy grin and twinkling eyes.

baekhyun grabs the hand laying limp at luhan’s sides and swings it playfully. “where do we head to now, my dear luhan?”

the older male feels a burst of excitement bubbling in his stomach. baekhyun might have forgotten everything about them, but he’ll do his best to bring them back to the days where they ran across grassy fields, soles of their feet tickling the soft green patches. he’ll bring baekhyun to his favourite coffee shop round the bend and they’ll sit there for hours sipping on their favourite cappuccinos, talking about everything and anything. and maybe, when (if) they ever get closer again, luhan will bring baekhyun to the park again and they can try out the swings again and they’ll have so much fun, they won’t want to go home at sundown. they’ll carve their names on the oak tree again, this time with a new date to signify their new beginning.

he’ll try and try until strong winds fill the white mast and sets sail the ship he’s on into baekhyun’s heart once again.

but right now, there’s only one destination in his mind.

"home. let’s go home."
Tags: fandom: exo, member: baekhyun, member: luhan, pairing: baekhan
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spot because it's 5am and I need sleep
omg hi I'm back at 4am what even--
I was yelling mentally "you fool luhan yOU FOOL WHY DON'T YOU TELL BAEKHYUN YOU GUYS WERE DATING" but yeah, he probably doesn't wanna scare baek when the poor kid lost his memory with like "hi we were fucking before you lost your memory"

that aside, I'll have to say, I felt like there was this empty block between their past and their visit to the swings? I wanted to know what happened to baekhyun, why did he lose his memory, why is luhan this upset?

all in all it's still good okay! btw best of luck for your upcoming exams girl <3

p.s. #stophurtingyeol why is this baekhan and not baekyeol
p.s.s. okay I do know it's because the prompt is baekhan
sorry for the late reply! just finished exams sigh.

there's an empty block because it's a drabble ;; i didn't really sketch it out as much i wanted to because well, drabble lol. but now that you say it, i do feel a bit regretful :/

HAHA BRENDA PLS + thank you for reading this <3
/wipes your tears/

thank you for reading!

Deleted comment

awww. your words are too kind! thank you for reading this ;;
this was painful to read but i love u for it bc baekhan ;^;
i have no idea how this managed to escape radar and why i've never read this before but this is really beautiful. i love the mood in this fic, it's so melancholic yet still mellow? and i also love how you write baekhan here, and how luhan doesn't tell the whole truth and i don't really know what to say because i'm still so hung up on this fic ;;
this was such a nice read, thanks a lot for writing ! ;www;